Today I was listening to a Q & A call-in show on one of the many webinar series which I follow. The spiritual teacher / new-age guru was taking callers' questions and advising them on various resolutions. It is said that by listening in, we can often learn something valuable about ourselves. Well I learned something very valuable about myself today. After listening for better then 10 minutes to some woman whining about how all she has ever wanted was a love relationship. Men come into her life and leave right away, she just gives and gives; still nobody loves. She is broke because she has been repeatedly ripped off by psychic advisors who tell her what she wants to hear and take her money. The host reassured her over and over that she was lovable and the fault was not in her. But the woman would interrupt and continue whining. Finally I said (out loud alone in my apartment), “LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, BITCH”. Oops, I guess I just learned that I should NOT be a personal counselor or maybe I learned that I have a very low threshold for whining; which was the main reason I decided not to become a psychologist. A few minutes later the host said the same thing with a bit more tact then I used, “whew what took you so long”.
I think I have told this story before, “When I was in the 7th grade my
teacher asked the class, “Who here likes themselves?” I was the only one in the room (35 students) to raise my hand… for a moment I thought I may have been caught in some kind of trick question. Then she said, “If you don’t like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to like you?” That made a lot of sense to me even then.
The most important thing you can do for yourself, everyone you truly love and the planet as a whole is to learn to LOVE YOURSELF
1st and BEST. The reason those other children did not have the audacity to answer yes to that question was because they had parents who taught them proper modesty. My parents where young, overwhelmed and dysfunctional; there were certainly downsides to that but on the upside it spared us becoming ingrained with the conventional “wisdom” of polite society. Often oppressive beliefs about our value, our place and our roles within the family and community; which may need to be unlearned before you can fully love yourself.
Let me be very clear, I LOVE MYSELF. Everything I do… I do for me. I have been called an earth angel and even f’n Mother Teresa of the f’n
homeless. With all that I do for and give to others, I can very quickly tell you what is in it for me. I don’t resent or regret any of the things I do, and
every day of my life is abundant with peace, joy and love.
The entire world can only be changed from within the individual…everything is about you. In your life and in your world everything should be about you. Because that is the only thing you can control. If you are not happy and you feel something needs to change, take a serious look at your level of self love.
I will give you a few exercises to help dislodge those old
teachings and help you learn to appreciate the gift that is you.
First and foremost is gratitude (this is a little different then
the gratitude discussion we had in previous blogs), each day before going to bed list one thing about yourself that you are grateful for. In the morning read your list. Then add another self-appreciation item the next night and read the list again in the morning. During the day you should be looking for something in your attitude or behaviour to add to your list. By day 7 you should be waking up reading 7 things that you apprieciate about yourself. I am not asking you to change your behaviour, I am asking you to be awake to the good LOVABLE person that you already are. Try to continue doing your list for 30 days, after that keep it beside your bed and take 2 minutes to read it each morning.
Next I would suggest that every time you do something, ask
yourself, “What’s in it for me?” Dig deep. I’ll try an example, “You prepare wholesome meals for your family (they like it, hate, probably don’t even notice) so what’s in it for you? It keeps them healthy…if they get sick you are the one that is going to have to take care of their runny noses.” Ask yourself truthfully, do you put sunscreen on your wee
ones to prevent future cancer or to prevent today’s sunburn? That is what is in it for you, one way or another our kids' pain is our pain.
If you don’t already love yourself, try these exercises and your perspective will change. Love is the root of everything good, you will ever have, be or do; spiritually and physically. Loving yourself makes it possible to love and be loved by others. Do the world a favour and
LOVE YOURSELF 1st and BEST.
Have a joyous day.
I think I have told this story before, “When I was in the 7th grade my
teacher asked the class, “Who here likes themselves?” I was the only one in the room (35 students) to raise my hand… for a moment I thought I may have been caught in some kind of trick question. Then she said, “If you don’t like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to like you?” That made a lot of sense to me even then.
The most important thing you can do for yourself, everyone you truly love and the planet as a whole is to learn to LOVE YOURSELF
1st and BEST. The reason those other children did not have the audacity to answer yes to that question was because they had parents who taught them proper modesty. My parents where young, overwhelmed and dysfunctional; there were certainly downsides to that but on the upside it spared us becoming ingrained with the conventional “wisdom” of polite society. Often oppressive beliefs about our value, our place and our roles within the family and community; which may need to be unlearned before you can fully love yourself.
Let me be very clear, I LOVE MYSELF. Everything I do… I do for me. I have been called an earth angel and even f’n Mother Teresa of the f’n
homeless. With all that I do for and give to others, I can very quickly tell you what is in it for me. I don’t resent or regret any of the things I do, and
every day of my life is abundant with peace, joy and love.
The entire world can only be changed from within the individual…everything is about you. In your life and in your world everything should be about you. Because that is the only thing you can control. If you are not happy and you feel something needs to change, take a serious look at your level of self love.
I will give you a few exercises to help dislodge those old
teachings and help you learn to appreciate the gift that is you.
First and foremost is gratitude (this is a little different then
the gratitude discussion we had in previous blogs), each day before going to bed list one thing about yourself that you are grateful for. In the morning read your list. Then add another self-appreciation item the next night and read the list again in the morning. During the day you should be looking for something in your attitude or behaviour to add to your list. By day 7 you should be waking up reading 7 things that you apprieciate about yourself. I am not asking you to change your behaviour, I am asking you to be awake to the good LOVABLE person that you already are. Try to continue doing your list for 30 days, after that keep it beside your bed and take 2 minutes to read it each morning.
Next I would suggest that every time you do something, ask
yourself, “What’s in it for me?” Dig deep. I’ll try an example, “You prepare wholesome meals for your family (they like it, hate, probably don’t even notice) so what’s in it for you? It keeps them healthy…if they get sick you are the one that is going to have to take care of their runny noses.” Ask yourself truthfully, do you put sunscreen on your wee
ones to prevent future cancer or to prevent today’s sunburn? That is what is in it for you, one way or another our kids' pain is our pain.
If you don’t already love yourself, try these exercises and your perspective will change. Love is the root of everything good, you will ever have, be or do; spiritually and physically. Loving yourself makes it possible to love and be loved by others. Do the world a favour and
LOVE YOURSELF 1st and BEST.
Have a joyous day.